The work we do together may include a number of modalities including, but not limited to, those described in detail below and those mentioned on the page about my background.
Professional Coaching or life coaching is a thought-provoking and creative process that successful people use to help them pursue their passions and strengths.
A coaching relationship is designed based on the client’s interests and goals. Discussion, questions and requests are used to assist the client as he reflects, identifies goals, develops strategies to reach them, takes action and adapts to challenges along the way.
Research has demonstrated that the relationship-based skillful listening and questions provided by trained coaches through professional coaching leads to reflection and new learning and successful application of the learning in clients daily lives.†
I subscribe to the Code of Ethics of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
Coaching is not
- Psychotherapy or counseling – These modalities often focus extensively on past events and how they relate to your thoughts and feelings in the present. Psychotherapy traditionally uses a medical model to figure out what’s wrong with you, and works mostly with your mental processes. It’s appropriate and recommended when your thoughts and feelings make it difficult for you to cope in your daily life.Coaching, however, assumes there is nothing wrong with you and comes alongside to help you reach your full potential. Your feelings, thoughts and past experiences are welcome in coaching. Coaching focuses on the present and future and is oriented towards the client applying new learning to their life in order to move forward in practical ways.
- Teaching or Giving Advice – while a professional coach might be considered an expert in how to change, he does not act as an expert on what the client should do or change in his life.Rather than telling the client what to do the coach helps the client to integrate new learning, to draw on his own knowledge and wisdom, and to make his own choices.In some situations the coach may have extensive knowledge of an area where the client is looking to grow. Although teaching is not part of coaching (when narrowly defined), often the relationship created between coach/practitioner and client may include a teaching component where the practitioner teaches concepts and skills, and then coaching is used to help the client integrate them into his life.
In summary, coaching works with a client to define his goals, overcome barriers and implement a plan to reach his full them.
In the process of implementing a plan to reach your full potential, we usually encounter challenges and resistance along the way.
To assist the client along the way, the coach works with the client in three areas:
- attitudes and beliefs
- skills, and
In my work with gay and bisexual men and couples, I bring considerable experience and expertise in the arenas of sex, relationships and developing self-confidence.
Depending on a client’s goals and preferences, sometimes we will use a strictly coaching approach. Other times our work will have a more educational flavor as I help you learn and practice new skills, with coaching used as a supplement to help you integrate the learning. If you ever have questions, please talk openly with me as I am committed to supporting your journey to your full intimacy potential.
† Griffiths, K. & Campbell, M. (2009). Discovering, applying and integrating: The process of learning in coaching. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 7(2), 16-30. Retrieved from http://www.business.brookes.ac.uk/research/areas/coachingandmentoring
Sometimes you need an experience in your body to help you move forward. These are private experiential sessions that address the whole person. Sometimes these sessions are called somatic coaching, bodywork-based coaching, sexological bodywork, sacred intimacy or sex and intimacy coaching.
These sessions combine body-based activities and heartfelt conversation to support your learning. These sessions are designed to deepen self-awareness, emotional freedom and erotic confidence. I offer you a confidential, non-judgmental, sensitive and professional approach to your growth in the areas of sexuality, intimacy and spirituality.
To be clear, while these sessions give you an opportunity to learn and grow healthier as an erotic being, they are not intended to fulfill our human desire for sexual connection. I do not have sex with clients, nor am I available for romantic involvement with clients.
What it’s not
- Psychotherapy or counseling
- Medical care
- Therapeutic massage
- Sex or romance
Focusing is a body-mind practice and self-help technique that grew out of the work of Eugene Gendlin, Ph.D. His initial discovery occurred during research that explored why psychotherapy was unable to help many people. In a nutshell, it’s a safe and respectful way of being with those subtle inner feelings (whether pleasant or challenging) and connecting those feelings in your body with words and images that describe it, and from this place of deep listening to yourself finding life forward movement that is fresh and satisfying.
I’ve completed a year-long training in Inner Relationship Focusing with Ann Weiser-Cornell, Ph.D., the leading teacher of Focusing in the world. Although I am not a certified teacher of Focusing, focusing is at it’s core a self-help technique that anyone can learn. It informs all of my work with clients. I’ve found that standing alone or combined with other modalities, it often opens doors to growth and healing in surprising and often profound ways.
Focusing is a self-help skill and is not psychotherapy. While it was originally discovered and documented in that context and it may sometimes be used within therapy, it does not require a trained professional. It is a skill that can be learned and practiced by anyone, and used as often or as seldom as you need.