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Get your heart on and take part in erotic play with other friendly gay and bisexual men at the Communal Erotic Heart Jam.
This is a heart-centered erotic, fun and playful event where we gather to for sensual touch, emotional connection and free erotic expression through touch, talk, sharing intimacy, play, vulnerability, tantric experiments or whatever else spontaneously arises.
It’s a drug and alcohol-free space for gay and bisexual men to relax and connect with like-minded men regardless of experience level, age, body type, marital status, spirituality, race or other defining characteristic.
Most importantly, this is a laboratory to practice expressing what feels good and what doesn’t, to practice asking for what you want, to learn more about getting your needs met, setting boundaries, practicing self-acceptance and perhaps even overcoming rejection!
Who should attend
Men with an open mind for erotic community, deep connection and fun! Singles and couples, beginners, curious men, teachers and healers.
Open hearted, touch positive men interested in safely exploring intentional masculine sensuality.
Who should NOT attend
Men who are not open to hugging men, touching men, and sharing heartfelt conversation with other men.
Men who mainly want to be spectators. (Although all participation is optional to support your feeling safe, this is not an event for spectators.)
Men who would be offended by nudity and open erotic expression.
How is this event different?
This event has fewer limitations on erotic expression than many of our other events. After the opening circle is complete there will be much less structure since the rules of erotic engagement, will guide you into asking for what you want. Although there will be no randomly assigned partners in this event, the evening is set up to encourage frequent changes and a focus on small groups rather than pairing off.
The Expectations for Erotic Engagement (aka Rules)
Please arrive on time. The doors will be closed once the welcome circle begins. Sorry, no one can enter late. This creates comfort and safety by knowing that everyone is on the same page about rules and expectations
The opening circle will include connecting exercises, introductions, and guidelines. You will be asked to introduce yourself and your highest intentions for the evening. You will also be asked to participate in several exercises.
- Clothing optional means you can take off all your clothes, keep them all on, or something in between. It’s your choice. (Please make sure to put your clothes where you can quickly find them.)
- Verbal permission is required before engaging in any touch and before significant changes in the type of touch. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
- You don’t have to touch anyone at a heart jam, ever.
- If you’re a yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO. Everyone is given permission to say No at any time for any reason.
- If your natural tendency is to automatically say No if you feel uncertain, you are encouraged to explore the art of pausing and negotiating to see if you can find a heartfelt YES. If you tend to automatically say Yes even when your heart isn’t in it, you are encouraged to practice saying NO. Bottom line: if you can’t do it with an open heart, say NO.
- If you say yes, you are encouraged to change your mind, and partners, frequently.
- Sacred erotic energy exchange is celebrated, but there is no expectation that you have to participate. During this event, no part of your body should go inside anyone else’s body. If you want to do that, give him your phone number and ask him for a date at another time.
- For hygienic reasons participants are asked to avoid anal touch. Also, for cleanliness, please place the towel or sheet you brought between bare skin and the cushions, furniture and back jacks.
- Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your relationship partners about your participation.
- The host is available to assist if anyone feels unsafe in any way or needs some ideas for how to share touch and emotional connection. (Since no one can read your mind, you do need to ask for assistance.)
- You are encouraged to interact with others with an open heart. This means you are encouraged to feel and name all your emotions. (Yes, both tears and laughter are welcome here.)
- All participation is optional and confidential. Please be careful to respect people’s privacy when sharing about your experience.
- You are encouraged to stay until the closing circle, however, you may leave at any time after the welcome circle is complete. Please check out with the host before leaving, so we are not left wondering what happened to you.
- Everyone is expected to take 100% responsibility for his or her own experience.
- Please keep the tantric play space clean and organized.
This is not a potluck please eat before you arrive. You are welcome to bring snacks or finger foods to share with the group to help keep the energy flowing through the night. (Please limit it to finger foods that are generally healthier rather than heavily processed sugar-laden foods, and nothing too messy.)
This is a drug and alcohol free event, as are all of our events.
About the facilitator
Mark Reinert is a relationship coach and erotic educator who helps gay and bisexual men who want more physical pleasure and emotional intimacy with other men. He has been helping men to improve their experience of sex and intimacy for over twenty years. There’s much more information available on his website at www.MaleHealthyTouchClub.com
Private coaching sessions with Mark are also available to support you in reaching your goals in the arena of sex, intimacy, relationships, and healing.
Want more information?
- In Boston, this event is regularly offered through Boston Men Growing Together and the Boston Men’s Massage Exchange. For the current calendar of events, join one of these groups.
- If you’re not in Boston, check for a group in your metro area.
- You might also be interested in getting sex and relationship resources by email or in our online seminars by signing up below.