I’m Mark Davian and I want to welcome you to an opportunity to experience a lot more of the pleasure and intimacy you long to experience with other men.
Imagine if pleasure and profound emotional intimacy was a daily experience, without the confusion and shame about sex in general and specifically about male-male intimacy that plagues our culture.
I work privately with gay and bisexual men, and couples who want to bring more playfulness, touch, confidence, physical pleasure and emotional connection into their experience of sex and relationships.
My approach to coaching and teaching about emotionally satisfying relationships, erotic fulfillment, intimacy, and sexual healing is somatic and shame-free in nature, inviting you to experience your body and life in new and fresh ways through curious, nonjudgmental self-awareness in the present moment.
I work privately with gay and bisexual men around the world from many backgrounds and sexual orientations. The majority of my clients live in the US and Canada.
Over the years, I have drawn insight from my experiences living and working in over 20 countries and studying and practicing a wide variety of ancient teachings and modern modalities to form a unique, effective and dynamic approach to individual mentoring and coaching. You can read more about my background and training if you wish.
Some of the sex and relationship issues we could address together
- Let go of fear, shame or guilt
- Find that one true love
- Flourishing – including sexually – as you get older
- Have more casual sex, sacred sex or sacred casual sex
- Being both spiritual and sexual
- Premature ejaculation
- Delayed ejaculation (inability to orgasm)
- Erectile dysfunction and erection problems
- Body image concerns
- Having more adventurous, creative sex
- Fear of touch
- Healing the impact of anxiety, depression or trauma on sex and intimacy
- Gay couples relationship challenges
- Accepting your bisexual identity
- Open your relationship while keeping it strong and vibrant
- Self-confidence and self-esteem concerns
- Deciding to stay in a relationship or leave peacefully
- Changing habits and patterns that interfere with intimacy
- Sexual boredom
- Discovering anal pleasure
- Safely exploring BDSM, kink, fetish practices and power exchange relationships
- Creating a strong life partnership
- Developing confidence in sex and relating.
- Getting more communicative, heart-connected sex.
- Restore the spark in a relationship
- Concerns about dating or hooking up
- Creating community and intimacy with men
- Get comfortable with being gay or bisexual and making choices about privacy and coming out
- Feeling safe making sex and relationship choices
- Reclaiming sexual pleasure and intimacy after trauma, abuse, illness, surgery.
- Maintaining erotic fulfillment and joyful living during stressful periods, such as caregiving for a life partner or family member.
- Managing stress and it’s impact on your life, pleasure and intimacy.
- Lack of experience in sex and relationships with men.
- Open relationships, monogamy and polyamory
- Aging concerns
Coaching sessions include body-centered practices, deep listening, heartfelt discussion and homework that helps you reach your goals faster.
Sessions for clients in the US and Canada are conducted by telephone. For international clients (or those in North America without a clear phone line), we’ll use Skype audio. This makes it convenient, practical, affordable, and highly effective for men around the world.
Our coaching sessions are intended to be in harmony with, and not a substitute for, other professional services you receive such as medical care and psychotherapy.
What to expect from sex & intimacy coaching
- Powerful tools and clear guidance so you get new and better results
- Solutions to specific sexual concerns, relationship or dating issues.
- Feel better about yourself and your body
- A safe space to be heard and to say what’s true
- Learn to enhance intimacy, relationship depth and communication
- Body-based experiential exercises, and experiments
- Confidential support as you explore, learn and grow
- Ruthless and loving support
- Expand compassion and love for yourself
- Practice asking for what you want and speaking your truth
- Learning in the convenience and safety of your own home, office or other familiar setting
- No geographic barriers by phone or Skype audio
- Helpful information to empower you to move forward toward your goals
- Breakthroughs in vitality, self-awareness, pleasure and intimacy
What are coaching sessions like?
I work with men around the world by phone which I’ve found to be very effective (or if outside North America, Skype audio is available at no cost.).
This is a time-tested, proven and highly effective approach to addressing sex and intimacy concerns and helping you reach your goals. This approach saves you travel time and expense.
I have many tools and approaches that I can use to help you. Every session is custom designed for the client’s needs, goals and personality.
Sessions often incorporate relaxed discussion, heartfelt listening, thought provoking questions and teaching moments along with training in various body-mind techniques such as mindfulness, Inner Relationship Focusing, visualization, breathwork, embodied communication, energy healing, somatic awareness, and conscious, sensual touch.
Often we design homework and do body-based exercises and experiments* together during the session so you have a clear focus for your next steps and get the most progress between sessions.
Sessions are custom designed for each client and often include
- Relaxed conversation including a focus on somatic (body) awareness
- A welcoming space to be and fully express who you are
- An invitation to greater self-compassion, embodiment, authenticity and playfulness
- Acknowledgement and clarity through discussion of your goals, current challenges, what support you most need, and what success would look like.
- Body based experiential practices and techniques during sessions and as homework, as appropriate for your goals and situation
- Explanation of techniques, concepts or other best practices that will help you move forward to new and different results
- Careful listening and acknowledgment of you, your strengths, challenges, joys, fears and hopes
- Getting to know each other and practicing the art of authentic relating and creating connection
- Feedback and role playing to support you in communication, negotiation or conflict resolution
- Finding answers and resources for your questions.
- Experience the relaxed inner stillness that is the basis for profound intimacy
- Recommendations, practical tools, helpful homework and clear guidance on the steps you can take immediately to begin seeing new and different results.
How Coaching Works
During your sessions we will talk about your concerns, thoughts, feelings and experiences around self-confidence, relationships, sex and intimacy and identify your desired outcomes.
Using a holistic, body-centered approach that sees all parts of your life as connected, our discussion will be wide-ranging. We’ll talk about many areas of your life, while also keeping in view the specific reason(s) you’ve come.
After clarifying your situation and your desired outcomes, I will offer some tools and clear guidance for what you’ll need to reach your goals.
Sessions and homework include body-based practices and experiments so that both your mind and body can make the shifts needed to speed your progress toward your goals.
How many coaching sessions will I need?
A single session can give you a great sense of relief and forward progress. It can give you a change in perspective that is transformational and life changing. Some tightly fcoused issues can be addressed and resolved in one session.
How many sessions you need will depend on the nature and complexity of your situation and how motivated you are to change, grow and put into practice new practices and habits. I would have to talk with you at some length and do a comprehensive assessment of your situation before I could make specific recommendations.
Most clients work with me for 8 sessions over the course of 2 to 4 months. Many feel they have reached their goals at that point. Some continue much longer, often cutting back to a monthly session. Occasionally someone can only afford one or two sessions and I’m glad to help as much as I can within the limitations of your budget.
The challenges you’re facing probably didn’t begin yesterday. There’s a good chance their roots go back some years. Thus, you may quite possibly have longstanding, deeply held beliefs, habits or strong emotions that need to be cleared for you to reach your goals.
This is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about! It is worth considering, however, to help you form realistic expectations.
For many people it realistically takes at least 100 days of intention and focused attention to transform your subconscious beliefs and habits and make a meaningful and lasting change in the arena of sex and relationships.
While a single session can be of great help, most clients find they are best helped by completing 4 to 8 coaching sessions over a period of 2 to 4 months and that their commitment to doing so dramatically increases their success.
Your commitment or lack of it, to actively doing somatic practices, journaling and other assignments between sessions will have a major impact on the results you get.
there is no minimum number of sessions required. I’ve seen clients make dramatic shifts from one sessions and others benefit from many. Your level of commitment to making progress, your schedule and your budget are all important considerations in deciding how many sessions and how often you want to schedule them.
The Recipe for
Since you’ve read this far, it’s likely that something in your experience of sex and relationships is not working the way you’d like it to.
The way to guarantee things won’t change is by continuing to do the same things you have been doing.
Research tells us that what will make our work together effective is a combination of the strong relationship we form together, how I guide you in self-discovery and your commitment to the process including what you do to bring your learning into your daily life.
To bring true change and more pleasure into sex and relationships requires making changes in 4 areas
These can be difficult areas to successfully address and change all by yourself. You limit your possibilities when you go it alone.
Coaching offers expert help to guide you down the path to reach your goals as quickly as possible.
The final ingredient is your behavior.
To see lasting change you need to put into action what you learn. On a regular and ongoing basis.
Sometimes behavior can be hard to change. However, being open to and seeking help in developing new attitudes, beliefs, choices and skills can help you embrace and create lasting changes in behavior.
My role as your coach
My role as your coach is to be your advocate, to support you in discovering the actions that are best for you, and then in taking them.
Only you can act on what you learn in our sessions together.
Your sessions are confidential and I place a high priority on your privacy. You may like to read the Expectations and Ethics statement and policies.
How to get started
If you’re interested in coaching the place to start is by talking with me to get a sense of what it will be like and for both of us to sense it seems a good match.
To support you in making the best decision for yourself about coaching, I offer a complimentary introductory consultation.
During this session you will get clarity on exactly what is blocking you from what you truly want and how to get from where you are to having the pleasure, intimacy, fulfillment and wellbeing that you desire.
This is a brief no cost, no commitment phone conversation of about 20 minutes to answer your questions and give you a sense of how I can help you address your challenges and reach your goals in the arena of sex and relationships.
Schedule your introductory session here.
Note: All clients are adults (at least 18 years of age). If you’re looking for sex education for youth, please visit Scarleteen.
Scheduling and Fees
Free Introductory Consultation – a private 1 on 1 get acquainted call with Mark Davian. One per client unless there are special circumstances. 20 to 30 minutes. No charge. Schedule here.
Sex & Intimacy Coaching Programs – a series of private 45 minute 1 on 1 calls with Mark Davian which may include assessment, heartfelt dialog, empathic listening, insights, guidance, personal reflection, energy healing and body-based exercises customized for you and your situation.
- 4 Sessions over a 1 to 3 month period $550.
- 8 Sessions over a 2 to 4 month period $1,000.
In Person Coaching Intensives are available on a very limited basis to select individuals and couples. These sessions include all the benefits of phone coaching and also offer the chance to go deeper in body based exercises and practices and practical application of the learning. All intensives are custom designed.
- Fees for intensives start at $900 for a half day and $1500 for a full day. The client is also responsible for any applicable expenses (such as travel, meals, accommodation, etc.)
What if I need help but can’t afford private coaching?
I’ve developed many classes and programs because not everyone can afford one on one help. Many private clients also find that these programs help them move forward faster. If you don’t find something that relates to your concern, contact me.
Also join the email list (at the top or bottom of this page) since over time there are many helpful, free resources only announced via email.
If you have questions, pick a time that works for you and let’s talk about them during the free introductory consultation.